i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I will be naked everywhere
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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