sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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