I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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