my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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