she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
