btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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