Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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