Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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