He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
