The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
