Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
