how can u be prego again
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
