Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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