i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
