shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
