You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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