Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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