I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
