ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
