Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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