well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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