thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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