Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize