I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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