He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
