I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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