Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
