Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
