Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
