Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
