if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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