this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
