Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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