i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
