Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
