dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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