Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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