I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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