Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
