just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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