He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize