Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you win again, gameday.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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