who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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