Non-Jews are for practice
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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