Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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