Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
