you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
