Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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