Do vagina's smell?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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