dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
