I cockslap morals
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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