I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
