Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Blood and glitter go together right?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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