the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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