I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
