please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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