I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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