I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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