got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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